I Am Remembering
On love, non-attachment, and learning to stay present as life unfolds
Fun fact: I earned my open water scuba diving certification in 2021 in Tulum Mexico. It’s been a while since I dived and i would love to go diving soon.
I haven’t been writing as much lately. To be honest, the “writing” never really stops, because when I’m not writing, I’m channeling and expressing that creative energy in other ways.
So yeah… life has been full, rich, and stretching me in many directions at once. But this week, something moved through me that I feel ready to share again, so I’m back.
This feels like the beginning of a new rhythm for me, simply sharing what I’m living, what I’m learning, and what I’m remembering in real time.
So get some water, or tea, or better yet some warm cacao… and let this medicine story open your heart.
The Living Goddess (and What I Actually Mean by That)
I’ve been affirming to myself that I am the embodiment of a living goddess cuz that’s how I’ve been feeling. Deeply present, heat open and blissful. And the more I sit with that, I’m just grateful.
So when I say “living goddess,” this is what I mean.
As I do the inner work, as I release conditioning, illusion, and attachment, and as I allow myself to feel and move through what has been stored in my body, something begins to lift. There is less heaviness, less emotional density, and less weight from the past.
In that space, clarity comes, peace comes, and even a kind of quiet bliss begins to emerge. Not because I’m chasing it or trying to feel good, but because this is what’s natural when I’m no longer carrying so much.
There are moments now where I feel deeply at peace, grounded, open, and present. And I can also see how unfamiliar or boring even that level of stability & trust can feel, to some, at times.
When your nervous system has been wired through intensity, emotional highs and lows, or constant stimulation, peace can feel boring, stillness can feel empty, and safety can feel unfamiliar.
But it’s not that something is missing. It’s that we are recalibrating. We are learning that this grounded, steady, present state is actually a higher level of being. It’s available to all of us, but many of us don’t know how good we can feel because we’ve normalized carrying so much.
The Lesson That Keeps Finding Me: Non-Attachment
If I’m honest, non-attachment has been a theme throughout my life, and it came back around again this week during this Scorpio Full Moon…no dang surprise…cycles and patterns…
I met someone, and for a moment it felt like something real, like a destiny point moment. (Note to self: I want to write more about that concept later.)
There were glimpses of what could be, and I could feel my mind wanting to go there, to project, define, and attach.
This could very well be an aligned union, (I do hope it is), but like that story of the old man and the horse… maybe. I’ll wait and see.
What I’m really seeing is that when I live in this way…non-attachment, it frees me and it frees the other person too. There’s no holding, no pressure, and no trying to make something be what I want it to be. There is just allowing.
At the same time, I’m human. There is still a part of me that wants that “special relationship,” that deep, intimate, chosen connection. I don’t deny that.
I’m a lover. That’s who I am, and that’s what my Seven of Hearts birth card points to.
But I can also feel that I’m being called to elevate how I love into something higher and purer, into spiritual love.
A love that isn’t something I’m trying to get, hold, or create through effort, but something that simply is. I’m realizing more and more that love is not something I do. It’s who I am.
And when I’m in that, that is the embodiment. That is the “living goddess.” And that is not a joke, and it’s not ego. It’s something real that I’m learning how to live.
What Loss Taught Me About Love
This lesson didn’t start this week. It was deepened in one of the hardest moments of my life, losing my daughter. That experience showed me something I couldn’t unsee: we don’t own anyone.
Not our children, not our partners, not anyone.
Our children come through us, but they have their own path, their own journey, and their own soul agreements. SO non-attachment has been coming up with my 3 daughters as well….
So, Love isn’t possession.
For me, non-attachment is not about closing my heart. It’s about loving fully without trying to hold, or more like grasp.
Patterns, Purpose, and the Blueprint I’m Learning to Live
I’m also seeing more clearly that this theme in my life is not random. It’s patterned.
When I look at my birth card through the Cards of Destiny system, it’s right there. I am a Seven of Hearts, the Spiritual Love card.
This path is about learning the truth about love and relationships and reaching the highest level of that… or else. In other words, this is the work.
This card speaks to letting go of attachment, giving without expectation, and loving without possession. I can see how this has played out in my life over and over again.
This is why I’ve been diving so deeply into this system. I’m starting to see it as a tool for self-mastery, a mirror that reflects our tendencies, gifts, and challenges.
It reminds me of astrology and human design, different systems rooted in pattern and observation, all pointing to the same truth: there is a structure to who we are, and awareness of it helps us move more consciously.
If you’re reading this, I invite you to look up your birth card and sit with it. Ask yourself if it feels true, because what I’m finding is that these systems don’t tell you something new, they reflect what your soul already knows and can offer much insight, and remembering.
The Edge of Trust
Another layer of this week has been around my children. They need to return to the United States for a time, and I can feel how much I’ve kept them close, not just out of love, but also maybe out of fear and a little wisdom too (reading the signs of the time).
The idea of them not being near me has always brought something up in me.
But I can feel that I’m being called into deeper trust again, trust in life, trust in them, and also the truth that I need space right now because they are working my nerves. And some days I feel “insane” because I keep repeating myself & setting boundaries with them, without much change reflected in my house.
Being a single parent and holding everything is a lot, and I can feel that something needs to shift for all of us. I need a break and they need a shift in perspective.
The Pain of Awareness
Another realization this week is what I would call the pain of awareness.
I can see things now in real time, my thoughts, emotions, reactions, and the dynamics between people. That awareness is powerful, but it also comes with responsibility.
Because once you see, you can’t unsee. You can’t move unconsciously without feeling it. It calls me into integrity and into being more intentional about how I show up.
The Practices That Keep Me Here
Through all of this, what has grounded me the most is simple: singing and dancing.
These are ancestral technologies. Before all the language, there was movement, sound, rhythm, and connection. Returning to these practices brings me out of my mind and back into my body and into presence as a lived practice and has helped with my level of embodiment.
I’ve also been feeling a strong pull to return more fully to teaching meditation and practices again. It’s one of the reasons I created the Motherful Temple and community space, to have a place not just to gather, but to practice, ground, and reconnect.
I want to bring more structure to that in a way that feels smooth, sustainable for me, and regenerative for everyone involved. I don’t have it fully figured out yet, but I can feel that it’s the next step.
Two years ago, when I was living in Ecuador, I went live every morning for 30 days straight (except for when rain and power outage caused delays), guiding meditation and practices. Everyone who participated shared how deeply impactful it was, not just the practices, but the consistency of showing up every day.
Holding that space and being the channel for that container was deeply impactful for me as well.
That entire 30-day meditation challenge still lives on my YouTube channel, and it’s inspiring me to return to that space more intentionally, to share more, go deeper, and create more long-form exchanges. If you feel called, you can subscribe there and follow along as I build that back up.
Writing as a Living Practice
This piece, and others I wrote, have honestly felt like a whole journey in themselves, almost like a mushroom experience, but without the medicine.
The level of reflection and awareness that this writing calls out of me stretches me.
It’s not just sharing. It’s processing in real time.
I’m meeting my thoughts and emotions as they arise and allowing clarity to emerge through the writing itself. And in that process, something shifts. Things connect, truth lands, and old stories loosen.
I’m starting to see this as something deeper, not just writing, but a kind of transformational writing and I spent my most of my afternoon and now almost night, in this process.
A Quick (and Slightly Funny) Disclaimer
Everything I’ve shared here comes from my own lived experience. These are things I’m moving through, realizing, and feeling called to share from my heart.
I’m not here to persuade you or tell you what’s true for you. My intention is simply to share in a way that might inspire you or bring you back home to yourself.
That being said, this is not medical advice or any kind of official advice. So if you read this and go out into the world and somehow trip and break your leg, I am not liable in any way.
However, if something I’ve shared leads to you winning the lottery or receiving unexpected abundance, I would love my cut. Thank you.
A Living Invitation
This week has been a journey, and this writing is part of that.
If you’re reading this, I invite you to reflect on what you are being asked to release let go of, what you are learning to trust, and what you are becoming aware of.
If this resonates and you want to go deeper into this space with me, you can join Revibe, the community I’m building. Revibe is calling in the resources to steward land and create a template of community for a regenerative future, now.
You can step into the 30 Day Return to Love journey. (First live call next wednesday, still time to learn more & register)
You can support the work I’m doing with Motherful Colombia.
And if you feel called to support me directly, you can do that as well.
This is not separate from my life. This is my life.
And I’m grateful to share it.
If you’re here and supportive of me, thank you. Stay with me.
A Story to Sit With
There’s a story I’ve been thinking about this week.
An old man’s horse ran away, and the villagers said, “What bad luck.” He replied, “Maybe.”
The horse returned with more horses, and they said, “What good luck.” He replied, “Maybe.”
His son broke his leg, and they said, “What bad luck.” He replied, “Maybe.”
War came, and the son was spared because of his injury, and they said, “What good luck.” He replied, “Maybe.”
I’ve been sitting with that this week.
